The Disco Rave Giant Mutant Spider Escapes!
- When
- Mon, Oct 26, 2026 – Tue, Nov 3, 2026
“SPIDERS!!! It’s...it’s...an ARACHNO-NIGHTMARE!!!” Arachnids have broken free from my totally ethical, not randomly insane & 100% up to code underground lab – where I may or may not have been tampering with the nature of very existence by genetically modifying black widow spiders – while paying no attention to scientific boundaries, or having more than a Google level education on what I was doing, or giving mind to pesky logic & sensibility or science. To tell the God’s honest truth, I was inebriated for most of the tampering – but like Einstein, I believe, once said: ‘If you ever get a chance to play with a spider’s DNA, then go HOG WILD, sweet cheeks!’ Well...I listened & my abominations have broken containment – especially the BIG ONE (...trust me, you won’t be able to miss ‘em). Hey – they’re y’all’s problems now... FEEL FREE to come by & TEST YOUR LUCK WITH A PICTURE or (gawd help you) if you want to pet IT – just be careful if you get too close...or are forced to get too close when it hypnotizes you with its (*legally distinct enough not to be infringement*) ‘not-so-dead-more-like-electric-rave’ lights. Plus, it might have more than spidery surprises for you...since I really had no idea what I was doing when juggling ‘ye olde’ DNA. I’m kinda a madman – so if anyone’s to blame, I think we can all agree to blame Einstein. ***SPIDER PARTY kicks off sometime around dark. If you see the big boy lit up, then the soiree has begun until the lights go down! ***LIVE ACTOR occasionally off & on between 7pm to 10pm. *******DISCLAIMER: Not responsible for any family or friends devoured by abnormally huge spider beasts that may inhabit the property & will cocoon your loved ones to suffer an agonizing slow demise over several years as said monster slowly drains them of their life essence. (JUST KIDDING! – he actually just eats them whole. Either way, don’t blame me – remember, blame Einstein. C’mon, people! Keep up!)
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